Almost from the moment of birth, Cheri has been concerned about helping others. A dedicated daughter, sister, wife, and mother, she always puts other people first. Her desire to serve is admirable, yet many times she felt that the people in her life took advantage of her kindness and generosity.

The strongest example in her mind is her ex-husband. Cheri married right out of college and immediately worked to support her new spouse in his career. First, he had to finish his undergraduate degree and then later, his graduate education and internship. During this time, she was devoted and faithful in her duties as wife, mother, and administrative assistant. So she was extremely hurt to discover his affairs – not one but several.

She Chose to Sell Insurance

Following the divorce, she chose to sell insurance because it offered her flexibility in her schedule and the potential for residuals. Yet, the pattern continued of giving her all and then getting let down by others. For example, to prepare for her license, she joined a study group and wound up doing all the work to keep it organized and on track. Or another illustration is her providing a room in her home for a friend in transition only to have that person depart unexpectedly and leave the place a mess.

Although Cheri has strong people values, she has felt betrayed and used. In defense, she has reverted to becoming detached and cerebral. She forces herself to think logically and unemotionally. Yet deep down she’s never lost her primary values of serving others.

The Problem Contains the Solution

Cheri is struggling in her new occupation. She finds it difficult to ask for the sale and feels tension rise when she gets to that point in her presentation. The last thing she wants to do is offend someone or incur their rejection. So she hopes that the other party will bring up the subject and just go forward. Her character flaw is taking things personally and projecting onto other people how she views the world.

How can she succeed? When Cheri assesses her overall personality style, she can learn to access other parts of it that can support her new profession. Wishing that things would change externally isn’t the answer. She must journey within to shift her thinking and behavior.

About Dr. Nancy Zare

A retired professor and psychologist, Dr. Nancy Zare originated the AlikeAbility™ System to teach service-based sales professionals how to read buying styles and close more sales. She offers a complimentary video, “If the Shoe Fits” that helps you identify your prospect’s buying style from the shoes they wear. Contact her to receive your copy by email.